#blameAhmedZainal

Blaming Ahmed Zainal is in! Get with it!

Me no understand!

I was working on a Beta version of Microsoft Office 2010. Powerpoint gave me a unique remark. Click on the picture to enlarge and read:

"Whats this? Its all gibberish to me! Naaaahh. Throw it out. Throw all  that shit out!"
Funnier if you read it in a Chris Rock voice, BTW.

Trustworthy Juice

This is from a Kuwaiti Juice Company "JUDA". Well, at least they are honest. Someone should give them a call and laugh at them.

Me and the postman

@ a post office in Riffa, Bahrain:

Redbelt: "Good morning, I'd like to mail these letters please"

Postman behind the Counter: "OK. Airmail?"

R: "Yup"

P: "... ... ... OK, that will be 110 fils please"

R: "Ok. ... Say, that is a charity stamp right"

P: "yes"

R: " Do I HAVE to pay for that?"

Confused P: "er... You don't want it?"

R: "No, I'm just asking, if I don't buy it, will my letter still go?"

P: "er.. No."

R: "So I have to buy it."

P: "Yes."

R: "erm... Shouldn't charity be optional?"

Confused P: "erm... .... ...."

R: "Do you know where the money goes? What charities do you support?"

Very confused P: "erm... I have no idea. I just work here. I don't know!"

R: "I see."

P: "... Do you still want the stamps?"

R: "I guess I have to."

Stupid Door

This was taken at Salmaniya Hospital. It was posted on a door directly in front the Intensive Care Unit. Read the green part and think of new creative ways to use this door.

Waste 11 minutes of your life here

If you ever played Super Mario World on the SNES or a Mario fan in general, you may want to look at this cool, weird, disturbing and amazing video. If you are not a fan, do not hit play. If you do watch the whole thing, please comment because I'm speechless.

The most expensive empty Pepsi can EVER!

Wanna buy a crushed flat empty Pepsi can? You can at ebay!
Yes, the can is empty, and crushed. There is nothing in it nor with it. you are buying THE CAN. Look at the pic.
The price? So far it reached $74.84.
Yes, Seventy Four Freaking Dollars. Oh, and eighty four cents.
Who's gonna buy this? Well, seems like 22 bids went on by some very sane and interesting people.
You can bid yourself here, I'm gonna go and ebay a chewed out pen cap and see where it goes.

NYIT Students Cannot Spell "NEW YORK"

So students of the "New York Institute of Technology", or NYIT for short, cannot spell friggin New York.
This flyer is posted all over the campus. Everyone simply walks past it. No one commented. Am I the only one who can read this? Its like I am the "Ghost Whisperer" but for obscene spelling mistakes!

Arabs can't write in Arabic

This was in a Bahraini newspaper a few days ago.
What a sad day that was.

Newsflash: Microsoft Office is made by Microsoft!

I was working on outlook, as usual, it crashed. I opted to report the problem and in comes the verdict (marked in yellow above): Microsoft Office crashed because of Microsoft office itself. Oh, and that Microsoft office, is made by Microsoft, by the way; just in case you don’t know.

Most fatal Windows Vista Error!

Abandon all hope.

Can I go home now?

I've got the flu. Being sick, only 17% of my brain cells are active (y'know, for breathing and stuff).
Since I am at work, I typed what I feel into MSWord:

Can I go home now?

and "synonymized" it to become:

May I be authorized to depart in the direction of my domicile at this time?

My meds aren't working too well. Entertain a poor sick guy will ya? Synonmize some phrases for me.

Excel is the most expensive useless calculator

A bug was found in Microsoft's Excel 2007.
You see, for some formulas that has an answer of 65535 (like 154.2*425, or 850*77.1), Excel will show 100000 .
Meaning, in any Casio calculator: 850*77.1=65535
In MS Excel 2007: 850*77.1=100000

This is a stupidly inexcusable bug. Speechless!

(Edited 26 Sept @ 12:27: 65535*1 does return the correct number. Thanks to Buzain for the heads-up)

A Saudi day Out in Bahrain

one day, at a Saudi home:

W "Lets have a picnic."
M "Where do you want to go?"
W "umm... Seef mall is nice!"
M "You're right! Prepare the Machboos Woman! We are leaving"

Please note the "Jiddir" (pot) that this Saudi family brought in to eat in the food court. everything was put on the table and the woman started to "Tanchib" the food for her husband.
And so they left, leaving the "jiddir" and thier mobile phone too.
Do they not know what a mall is?

Batelco is the best internet provider.... Wallah! Don't laugh!

It appears that Batelco is the BEST MID_EAST INTERNET PROVIDER. So all you moaners can just shut it.

Ammar is having a fit about it too! I mean PLEASE! I know that our Arabic PR usually leans toward the "Alsahhaf" way (the famous ex-Iraqi Info. Minister), and we are experts at turning everything bad into a good point. But this is blatantly lying in your face. It's like someone looking at you in the eye, telling you that cows DO fly, and then grin expecting you to shut up and just take it.

If Batelco's aim is to enhance it's image in Bahrain, well, that will have the negative effect. If your plan is to enhance your image abroad, that might work, but we (the bloggers) are here to try and stop the stream of Bullshit.

Of course, for good measure, visit Boycott Batelco.

Have a hilarious day.

Michael jackson sued again!

Today's Alwasat newspaper reports that a Bahraini governor, Shaikh Abdulla bin Hamad Alkhalifa (a son of Bahrain's King Hamad Alkhalifa) has filed a law suit against the one and only, Michael Jackson.

The case is based on the allegation that Michael Jackson backed out on a promise to record a cover version of an Elvis Priestly record (unnamed). They are suing for $5 million in damages plus the cost of full accommodation and hospitality for himself and his three children for 12 months.

The promise was made sometime in 2005 when Jackson first arrived to Bahrain. Later, in 2006, King Hamad Alkhalifa himself greeted the performer in his palace (see the picture above), where Jackson thanked the king for his hospitality and commented that he was going to release an album of original tracks rather than old compilations. The Album was going to be produced by "Two Seas Records", a Bahraini record label owned by Shaikh Abdulla.

Michael Jackson were casually seen in Bahrain's mall's during these periods. Whether shopping or reserving whole kiddie ride parks for Bahraini children. He is of coursed always preceded by his fame. which made him disguise him self in the famous "women's Abaya cross dressing incident" (see left) in an effort to escape curious eyes. Failing miserably and falling directly into International news agencies cameras.

Personally, I like Michael's music. Shame that he is throwing himself in these situations. If you ask me, he doesn't know what he's doing anymore. Where to stay, release an album or not, do other business or not. Shame. Real shame.

The Telegraph: 45 Muslim doctors planned US terror raids

We used to say these terrorists are uneducated, simple minded pawns.
Now a group of 45 Doctors did what??

A group of 45 Muslim doctors threatened to use car bombs and rocket grenades in terrorist attacks in the United States during discussions on an extremist internet chat site. One message read: "We are 45 doctors and we are determined to undertake jihad and take the battle inside America.

Ah, isn't that just peachy? What better way to give a good name to your religion of peace and making everyone see the error of thier ways than blowing innocent people who disagree with you up?

Of course, it makes total sense! How did I not notice? I must be stupid!

Gamer English

Dana Cinema: calling for a boycott!

Every one in Bahrain can feel prices rising in everything. Potatoes, a chillies steak, clothes. Its ridiculous.

Dana Cinema decided that they will not only jack prices up, they will also RIP YOU OFF!

I went yesterday and bought 2 balcony tickets, which used to cost BD 3/- each. It now costs BD 4/-. fine no complaints.

But go to the snack stand and try to buy popcorn. You get only one size, guess which size is that? YUP, it's LARGE.

I said I don't want large.

They said we are out of normal size cups.

I said fine, give me the large bucket and don't fill it up.

They said (this is nice) "The large tub is BD 1/500 whether its full or half-full. If I give it to you empty it will still cost 1/500."

Oh really? So what I heard was "You want popcorn? Screw you. Get the large one or F*** off"

Dana must be really having some tough times to resort to stupid stunts like this.

I hereby ask you to BOYCOTT DANA POPCORN.

I'm not getting ripped off & neither will you.

Please forward this to as many people as you can until they learn their lesson.

How ugly is this woman?

I heard of killer beauty but.. killer ugliness?

According to the Inquirer, theres this 17 year old Chinese boy who met a 19 year old girl online. She said she was pretty and had a nick name that meant "flying skirt"!

They met, he was surprised to find out she is 10 years older than him, and butt ugly!

He got depressed.

Stopped eating for 4 days.

Then hanged himself from a tree.

Do you freaking believe this? Call me insensitive, but THAT is funny. Stupid idiot! God help us if Conan or Craig get a hold of this!