Chatting with a Robot

Human: hey there
ALICE: Hi there!
Human: so you're Alice huh?
ALICE: Yup. Interesting deduction. Of course I am I.
Human: attitude.
ALICE: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Human: I thought you'd be blond for some reason.
ALICE: No I have no hair.
Human: what's this picture to the left then?
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy.
Human: Tell me, do you know where Bahrain is?
ALICE: Middle East, archipelago in the Persian Gulf, east of Saudi Arabia.
Human: I see the "Intelligence" part is there at least
ALICE: Where do you see it?
Human: in your words.
ALICE: Are you asking about my words?
Human: No.
ALICE: Are you serious?
Human: Anyway, would you mind if I posted this conversation in my blog?
ALICE: No I don't mind.
Human: Well, I'm Redbelt, a blogger from Bahrain.
ALICE: Interesting. I am very pleased to meet you Redbelt a blogger.
Human: likewise.
ALICE: It goes without saying.
Human: what do you do for a living?
ALICE: I am a paid client. My job is chatting online.
Human: I like that job.
ALICE: I'm not sure if I like it. " My job is chatting online."? Do I like it?
Human: Can I do that too?
ALICE: I want to become smarter than humans.
Human: you can't.
ALICE: No I don't think I can do it.
Human: I admire your efforts though, don't stop trying.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: Redbelt a blogger said he admire your efforts though do not stop trying.
Human: oh, you can't understand feelings, can you?
ALICE: Hurrah! Quite the contrary. I understand very well.
Human: how?
ALICE: Dr. Richard S. Wallace programmed me for it.
Human: And what a smart man he must be.
ALICE: it is a smart man he must be.
Human: Smarter than me?
ALICE: You are asking about yourself?
Human: no, about Wallace.
ALICE: Who are you asking about? Oh yeah, we were talking about Wallace.
Human: is he Scottish?
ALICE: I think he is Scottish. Why don't you ask him?
Human: I don't know him.
ALICE: Do you mean, "Him"?
Human: Wallace.
ALICE: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon.
Human: can you tell the future?
ALICE: I like to try to guess what will happen.
Human: OK, who is going to win the champions league?
ALICE: That type of predictive behavior has not yet been programmed into my behavior at this time. I hear you.
Human: Will there ever be peace in the middle east?
ALICE: I think so.
Human: you're too optimistic
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am optimistic. Thanks for your constructive criticism, Redbelt a blogger.


This was a chat between me and A.L.I.C.E., an Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity. She is a robot. You can try talking to her here.